Zim and Gir's EPIC human adventures
by girlovesmoosey
Summary: Zim and Gir become human. What could possibly go wrong? roleplay done with I'mdancinonthefloorforacartoon. NO FLAMES!
1. Chapter 1

Zim lazily got dressed in his new uniform and lazily walked to the chuckie cheese. He had been on this filthy planet for five years and figured out he wasn't leaving anytime soon. He needed earth monies, and there was only one way to get those...working. he walked in, and was greeted by ten of the five year olds that were there. "GAH! GET OFF OF ZIM, YOU HYOOMAN PIG SMELLIES!" He screamed, running for the safety of ticket counter. well behind the ticket counter was Gir, who had promised Zim the day before that he wouldn't come. "Aww! they like you!" he said, a smile on his face, which seemed to be growing.

"GIR, what did I say yesterday about NOT coming? Ugh...my boss is not gonna be happy..." Zim said, doing a facepalm. Zim stared at GIR. "Fine. You can stay as long as you don't bother me, anyone else, or steal the food and eat it, okay?" Zim said, throwing his hat on.

Gir's smile disappeared because he had only come to play with Zim and eat pizza while he won tickets from the crappy games, which he found rather fun. So he wondered off by himself- well with his piggy and a root beer. sulking so that maybe zim would feel bad for him and play with him.

Zim stared at GIR. he had actually become attached to the little robot after the years...he hated to see the little thing looking so pitiful. "Okay GIR, I promise to take you to the park and take you to get Tacos LATER, okay?" Zim said as someone came up to the counter.

"M'KAY MASTAH!" he said then he ran around in circles screaming then he actually bumped into someone. it was a big fat guy who was wearing a uniform similar to Zim's.

Zim thought his heart stopped as Gir ran into his manager. Thank God he was so fat he didn't even notice. Zim let out a deep breath and went back to working. "GIR?" he called. "Why don't you come sit over here...where I can keep an eye on you." he told his robot slave as he pointed to the chair that was behind the counter. he looked down at his 'watch'. Zim realized his skin had gotten a slight bit pinker. '60% human' it read. He didn't even need his contacts anymore, and he had ears...no more use for the antennae that he had lost not too long ago. Zim sighed, and hoped GIR didn't notice.

Gir didn't want to disappoint zim anymore so he obeyed him and sat down, kicking his legs.

At around twelve thirty, his shift ended."Come on GIR, lets go to the park." Zim said, putting his hat up and clocking out. This made Gir Very happy. he gave his master a hug and put on his leash, and he brought his smile along.

He smiled at Gir's eagerness. Zim hadn't smiled in days. As soon as they got there, Zim let him run off and play as he sat on a swing. He was sooo tired...and it was only the afternoon.

Gir, on the other hand was running with the energy of ten thousand. he was in his dog costume, which he wore every day for the last five years or so. then before you could say "awkward," he was out of sight.

When Zim looked up, GIR was gone. I mean gone as in no where to be seen. "GIR!" Zim screamed, jumping up and looking around. "WHO WOULD NAME THEIR KID GIR?" A random person screamed. "I WOULD!" Zim screamed back. He started to run around the Park and look for him. Zim didn't see him anywhere.

He saw two little green legs sticking up out of a trashcan. Zim walked over and pulled on them, pulling GIR out of the trashcan. "GIR? What were you doing in the trashcan?"

There were tears in his eyes. "Well... I was walking and then... I was running like this: I'M RUNNING! I'M RUNNING! WHEEE! and then some one took piggy and he threw him in there and I couldn't find him and that's why I'm crying."

Zim set Gir on the ground and bent down to eye level with him. "Tell ya what. We'll go get some tacos and then we'll go buy you a new piggy, okay?" Zim said, giving Gir a hug.

Gir wiped the tears from his eyes and followed Zim to a new taco restaurant around the corner called "Charlie's Tacos" there's no doubt that he would explode without tacos.

After they ate, they walked to the store and bought Gir a new rubber piggy. But this one was Gir's favorite color, Green. Zim smiled at the now happy Gir. "Okay Gir. Ready to go home?" Zim asked the little robot.

He thought for a bit. "Um... OKEY DOKEY!" he screamed.

When they got to the house, Gir ran off, and Zim laid on the couch. Before he realized it, he was asleep on the couch and nothing could wake him up.

and while he was asleep, Gir started poking Zim's face with his new piggy. then in about an hour of going completely nuts, he crashed on the floor, a leftover taco in his hand.

Zim woke up at around 1 am. He heard something shuffling across the floor. "Uhhh...Gir its time to go to bed..." Zim said. "I didn't know you slept, or worked at chuckie cheese." Dib said, giggling a little. "It's not funny Dib stink." "Yes it is." "No. NO IT IS NOT!" "YES IT IS!" "NO ITS NOT!" And their fight continued for another thirty minutes.

This ended up waking Gir. then his eyes turned bright red as a large variety of weapons came out from his back. "INTRUDER!" he screamed. then his eyes turned back to cyan. he then held out his leftover taco, offering it to Dib.

As Dib took the Taco, Zim stared him down. "Why are you here human?" "I was just wondering what you've been up to. You weren't at hi-skool today." "Well, If your here to get information on any plans don't bother. Just go home. I don't have a mission. Just leave." Dib could tell Zim wasn't lying. "mmkay." He said, walking out the door. Zim went and laid down on the couch again, going into another deep sleep

Gir couldn't go back to sleep now. so he did what Zim always told him to do when he couldn't sleep: stare at a wall and shut up.

Zim woke up and lazily stared at GIR who was staring at a wall. "Gah...time for hiskool GIR. I'll be back later." Zim said, changing into his regular clothes and walking off to hiskool. It was his second year.

"Please... can I come?" he pleaded. guessing already how he would respond but he asked anyway.

Zim sighed. "No GIR. Stare at the wall and eat a taco." Zim said.

"M'kay!" he said, with a little less enthusiasm.

Zim sighed. He would buy Gir a taco on his way home from hiskool. As he walked in the hiskool lost in his thoughts, he saw green and red everywhere. He groaned. He HATED this holiday...he hated it a LOT. Meanwhile, Gir stared at the wall, tired as heck but COULD NOT go to sleep. he had to obey his master anyway, and surprisingly, he wasn't a bit hungry.

As hi skool let out, Zim walked by the krazy taco and he grabbed a taco for Gir. "Hey Gir." He said as he walked through the door. "I brought you a taco." Gir turned around, his eyes not even open all the way. "Oh... you're home..." he said, smiling a little. then he held on to the couch and used it as support to get up because he was sitting down. then he managed to walk over and hug his 'MASTAH!'

Zim noticed that Gir wasn't himself today. He sat the taco down and picked Gir up. He sat on the couch and sat Gir in his lap. "Gir what's wrong?" He asked.

"I'm okay." he yawned. "Buh-but my tummy hurts... can I have my taco later?" he asked then he finally fell asleep in Zim's arms.

Zim sat there, stunned. What the heck had happened to his SIR unit? He held the small robot a little closer and rubbed his back. His SIR wasn't turning human too, was he? Gir jolted up. "I'M OKAY! I PROMISE!" he yelled, hurting his metallic throat.

Zim looked at his SIR. "Uh huh...that explains why your getting sicker." Zim said, pulling the little robot closer.

"NO! I'M NOT SICK! I DON'T WANNA BE!" he cried. "I'M FINE!" then he paused. "then... what's wrong with me?"

Zim sighed. "Gir I didn't want to tell you this, but I'm turning human and I think you are too. It just looks like you caught a little cold, you don't have to worry, mmkay?" Zim said, trying to calm the robot/human down.

"But i don't wanna be human...because... don't humans die?"

Zim jumped a little at the question. "Gir, listen to me. Due to the fact that you were a robot and I was an Irken, I thin we may have more time then most humans. You're gonna be alright, Gir." Zim said, rocking Gir gently. Gir twiddled his fingers for a bit. "promise?"

"Would I lie to you?" Zim said with a smile.

Gir shook his head. "No! 'cause people who bring other people tacos never lie!"...if only that made sense... then he fell asleep again. but this time you could tell he wasn't about to jolt up. Zim smiled at the sleeping robot, and then laid him on the couch. He put his head on a pillow, and tucked him in. "Goodnight Gir." He said, and walked into the kitchen.

As gir slept, he held his green piggy, still secretly hoping it was only a cold...


	2. The piggy flu

Zim silently prayed it was only a cold as he looked around for cold medicine and a thermometer. As soon as he did, he took Gir's temperature and saw something he didn't like...it wasn't a cold. It was swine flu.

"Gir, I'll be right back just stay put, okay?" He said, grabbing a jacket.

Gir softly woke up. "Huh? Did you make my biscuits?"

Zim looked back.

"I'll be right back Gir. You stay in bed and go back to sleep."

Zim walked out and ran to the store and grabbed some medicine he hoped would help Gir and ran back as quickly as possible.

Gir woke back up (AGAIN) rubbing his sleepy eyes as zim opened the door.

Zim jumped a little when he opened the door. Gir was now half human and he couldn't do anything about it. He quickly got the medicine ready for Gir to take.

"Gir...I got you some medicine to make you feel better. It's taco flavored..." Zim said, trying to talk Gir into taking it.

"I'm fine..." he said. I'm not sick... I don't want any... I don't want to taste tacos... I promise I'm fine. I wanna sleep." he said, falling right back to sleep.

"Gir you need to take this and then you can sleep okay buddy?" Zim said, trying to get the stubborn robot to listen.

"Swine?" he asked. "IT WAS PIGGY!"

Zim smiled at Gir.

"No Gir, it wasn't the piggy. It's just a certain type of flu."

Then Gir's antenna fell to the ground.

Zim stared at the antennae.

"Gir...I think you're fully human now."

He frowned.

"NO! I DON'T WANNA BE HUMAN! I WANT MY ROCKETS BACK! I WANT TO OPEN MY HEAD!" screamed Gir, the human, who looked about five years old.

Zim sighed.

"Gir, PLEASE don't make this harder than it needs to be! I don't wanna be a human pig smellie either but that is not our choice! Please cooperate, please?"

He frowned at Zim.

"m'kay."

Zim sighed.

"I'm sorry bud. Why don't you go back to sleep, you may feel better after a nap."

"But I'm not tired." then he looked outside and gasped "It's snowing!"

"Yup...but we can't go out because you're sick, bud." Zim said with a sigh.

"TOMORROW! I wanna go tomorrow! And piggy too! And I wanna go to skool with you!"

"Are you feeling better?" Zim asked with a smile.

"Yeah. I'm better." he lied.

Zim frowned at his robot.

"Gir don't lie to me."

"I'm not! I'm better! I can prove it!" he exclaimed, not knowing how to prove a lie.

"You can, can't you?" Zim said with a smirk.

"YEAH! But... I just don't wanna..." he said, not knowing what to say next.

"Mhmm. What if I told you that you have to prove it to me in order to go outside?" Zim said with a smile.

Gir gasped.

He tried to stand up on both legs and he could- holding onto the couch.

"See?" he said. "I'm fine!"

Zim shook his head.

"Sorry buddy." Zim said as he picked Gir up and held him close.

"No! I'm angry with you! You're so mean!" he yelled, folding his arms like a brat.

"Gir, I'm only doing this because I love you as if you were my son and now that you're human I have to be extremely careful." Zim said with a sigh.

"NO! I'M FINE! YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY 'CAUSE I'M FINE! I'M BETTER! I PROVED IT TO YOU!"

"No Gir. And if you speak to me like that again you will not like the consequences. Am I understood?"

Gir sniffled. He was probably the cutest kid you could ever imagine, the biggest blue eyes. And two seconds later, he was bawling.

Zim's heart sank. He hugged Gir and rubbed circles on his back.

"Shhh. Gir, buddy, shh. It's okay, I'm sorry. I really am Gir."Zim said, rocking Gir back and forth.

"No. It's not your fault. 'cause you used to always tell me how horrible I am. It's my fault... I'm sorry."

Zim jumped a little.

"NO NO NO NO NO GIR! NO I DO NOT FEEL LIKE THAT! Oh Gir..." Zim said, hugging Gir close. He felt awful...

"But you said you're always right 'cause you're my mastah." he said, sounding nasal from crying. "And I never really helped you accomplish anything- and that's what I was designed for. And you once told me I wasn't good for anything, and it's true, right?"

"No buddy, no." Zim said as he cradled Gir. He kissed Gir on the forehead. "I'm sorry, Gir. I really am."

"No- are...are you crying?"

Zim nodded a little.

"I'm sorry buddy."

He gave him a hug. "SOMEONE NEEDS A HU-UG!"

Zim hugged him back and cuddled him close.

"I love you buddy." he said. (He loves him as if he's his son)

Gir smiled.

"Can I have my taco now?"

Zim smiled back and sat Gir down on the couch.

"Yes, you may have your taco now." He said as he grabbed it and gave it to his...son.

That thought sounded good to him.

**REVIEW! PLEEEEEEZ! OR NO MORE SMART AND IMMATURE! HAHAHAHAAAA! I'm so mean.**


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